Todays episode

Starts thus..

The two catsuited figures normally wouldn't have drawn any attention at all, considering the fact that this WAS San Francisco, however, the fact that both of them were female, blonde, and stacked like a pyramid of beer cans at a frat party sort of got peoples attention. The fact that they walked a bearded, swarthy man who was bound, gagged, and hood covered made people scatter from the front steps of U.S.District Court, 9th circuit as they marched up Golden Gate Avenue and lifting the man by the elbows, cleared two steps at a time on their way into the building.

Both guards on duty put their hands on their holsters, reminding themselves perhaps of where they were. They did absolutely no good as that was the last time they would remember anything for the remainder of the day. Pulling down Lo-Pro Industries latest gadgets, they put on what appeared to be sunglasses as they both lobbed two hairspray shaped cans to opposite ends of the foyer, never missing a step as the glass exploded, people fell to the ground, and the guards were unconscious. Entering the elevator, they removed the glasses and smiling at one another, slipped them in the neck of their suits, climbing for the 16th floor.

Exiting the elevator, they found the floor strangely empty. Moving towards the clerks office, the door opened to show Mrs. Eleanor Eugenia Thermaple. 74 yrs young, and moving with the speed of one 1/2 her age, she looked at the trio and never batting an eye says "Dears, you've missed prisoner holding by four floors." and continues on to deliver her most recent load of mail. E.E., as she's called by those who absolutely adore her, has lived through the purge, immigration, depressions, and three husband. Naught disturbs her, for she's seen it once before at least.

Opening the clerks office 1/2 glass, 1/2 wooden door, and ignoring the shocked looks and meek protests of the faceless receptionist in her 3" nails and cloud of dept. store funkwater, they strode down hallways as if they had built them, to place a necklace shaped object on a non-descript wooden door's knob with a numerical cypher keypad on the wall next to it. A noise not much louder than a good popcorn fart on a church pew, with considerably more smoke, and the doorknob was scorched, but merely a hole in the door now. Opening the door and peering either direction in unison, the pair thrust the prisoner in front of them, and each removed a pen charge from their waists, which seemed to hold an endless assortment of wonderful toys, though appearing to the untrained eye to be form fitting, and in fact, skin tight. The fourth door on the right was their objective and upon finding it, forced the prisoner to his feet while Janelle, the younger of the two sisters, placed her boot on his neck, just hard enough to show him who was in fact, bosslady, while Ranelle, her Sister, placed the pen charges on the exposed door hinges. Dragging the complacent prisoner with them 20ft. down the hallway, Ranelle took out her cell phone and dialing a number, entered a four digit code. With a terrific clap of near thunder, the door propelled itself into Courtroom 16B, the bench of the Most honorable Justice Morgan. Peterson Cargile. Having sat for over two decades, he was most ready to, as he so politely put it "Un-ass this AO finally and go obtain a wonderfully decadent drinking problem in a location where the locals wear next to nothing, and the beach is so close, you can feel it beneath your toes". You may have guessed the Judge was an ex-military Man. Congratulations. Keep that in the back of your mind. Meanwhile, back to the carnage.

Or, lack thereof. Despite the fact that the door was near the public entrance to the courtroom, across the room some 60ft, and people were obviously disoriented and a few had vomited from the overpressure, no one was fatally wounded. The pair of Sisters dragged the prisoner to his feet,and together, all three presented themselves in front of the aforementioned Judge, who, upon regaining his composure, rose to his feet, all 5'8 of them, and contorting his face into a mask of rage looked at the trio and inquired as to, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHESTY PULLER IS GOING THE FUCK ON HERE?". Janelle spoke first. "Your honor, we apologize for any destruction and mayhem, our people will be in contact with your Goverment as we speak, working out the bill. However, more pressing buisness is our reason for, if I may, barging into your courtroom so explosively." This drew a chuckle from the baliff, and a stern look from hizzoner, Ranelle decided to end the suspense. "We present to you, and the 9th District court of the United States Of America, One Abdullah Omar Mohammed. He has been identified by both his fingerprints, DNA sample, and vocal analysis. He was captured after a 14 day chase across most of SouthEast Asia. The full report is being submitted, less dramatically, to the your FBI field office here, and CC'd to your Dept. Of Homeland defense. With regards to the 50 million dollar reward offered for the capture and delivery alive of this man, we ask that is returned to the American people, and that finally, Justice will be served upon this man." Janelle tranferred the prisoner to the care of the baliff, and much easier than they entered, and with absolutely no explosives nor helicopters, made their way out of the building to return to their boat to watch Anderson Coopers reaction to the capture and delivery of the most notorious terrorist since that bin laden idiot.